Last year I went through a lot and so did a lot of ppl I'm very close to. This blog isn't about that stuff though, it's about the ppl who have traveled this rocky road with me, mostly my sorority sisters. I joined Delta Phi Epsilon mainly b/c I wanted to get involved on campus and b/c I had seen both my blood sisters enjoy theirs so much. Back then I never would have guessed that I would become such a better person for joining or that I would ever think about depending on theses ppl to get me through life when all else fails (in my freshmen naive head, all else was Sam and he wasn't going to 'fail' me). But all else did fail and at first I didn't know why I even felt like going on in life but now I understand. I had this group of women (excluding a few) standing behind me and encouraging me to carry on. Some of the girls went through things with me like ending a long term relationship around the same time. I didn't realize it then b/c I thought that my situation was too different and unique to even be compared to another's, but on the surface it was exactly the same. I learned from their mistakes and I'm sure they learned from mine. I was able to talk out problems I was having with someone who wasn't judging me constantly or ready to jump down my throat if I said something offensive. I had many supportive ppl who let me call them at 4 in the morning and just cry hysterically b/c there were no words to describe the abandonment I was feeling. In retrospect, I wasn't abandoned at all. I was really the opposite, whatever that is (maybe found???)
Yeah, I think it is found. I was found. Found by myself first and foremost, but also found by the world and all who inhibit it. It's so funny how after you analyze your behavior and relationships with another person, or other people, how much of an improvement you can see in every part of your life.
The truth is, everyone strives to be the best they can be.
Some fail, but I think most succeed. I feel like I have reached my potential at this time but I need to always check in with how other's perceive me in their 'quality world' to ensure that I keep improving as my limit grows to greater heights. It is my opinion that as we get older our potential of greatness grows much like how our brains grow as we learn. It's like we pass these check points in our self growth and then graduate to a higher level of self-actualization. Just like learning, I don't think you can ever reach a 'glass ceiling' or anything like that. I think this process is what life is about. This is what we do as parties of the human race, we grow into beings that satisfy those who are important to us and improve out lives. When those ppl are quality ppl (aka not ppl who flurish in your failures or your inactivity in the greater scheme of life) you will be happy knowing that you are fulfilling your ultimate job called living.
When ppl ask what I do for a living, I'm going to start replying, "I strive for self-actualization." We can all say this, and by realizing our general goal of this we can assimilate ourselves with humans and therefore be able to make decisions based not on what would benefit us at that moment, but what would benefit the overall human race at that moment. This deep, so I'm cutting out and going back to doing math 386 homework. Think about this though.
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