future endeavors

I have been living my life as if Doug could disappear at any moment. Last night he asked me if I'd be ok with him going on tour....like next summer of 2011. That was a surprise to me bc although I am completely in love with this kid, I feel like it is all just a dream that I could wake up from at any time. I wanted to order him something with letters on it for valentine's day, but I wasn't positive we'd make it till then so I didn't order anything. I don't think this is insecurity, I think this is me understanding that life is a changing organism and that life can be drastically altered in a matter of minutes.

As for the tour thing, I am completely on board with it. He'd be gone for months but I'd be able to call him and it is the best thing for him to do. I will always support him in his music career regardless of what I would have to sacrifice. I would most definitely miss him horribly, but the gain in this situation outweighs the cost by far! I trust him completely and he trusts me so I know that while he's gone I can continue to go out and enjoy life without him looking at pictures online and assuming things while he's gone.

This question just made me realize that we are getting serious..... His longest relationship was 3 months and right now we stand at almost 1 1/2 which is half of his most serious relationship. That's big for him I think. I know it's going to be big when I decide to share my life with someone for 2 years again. I really like him still and I'm almost positive that we are out of the infatuation stage now. We are getting serious, as weird as that is for me. This should be interesting at the very least.