a real blog

I have a real topic to blog about now. ppl who break up with their long term relationship just to get into another long term relationship with someone else. When you go through something as tramatic as a loved one unloving you, you need time to heal and reflect on your relationship. Why didn't it work? Was it meant to? Are you going to have to try it one more time to answer these question? Do you have regrets? Do they have regrets? How has it made you more knowledgeable about what you do/don't want next time around? How has the relationship shaped who you are now?

You need to think about these things if you were really truly in love with the person. Sometimes it takes a few times of getting back together and trying something different or just simply giving the person at fault a second try. I personally feel that a long term relationship can not be broken by one faulted party, but rather both of the parties growing in different ways. Sometimes you have to get back with the person to know if it's really over between you two and make sure that it wasn't over something insignificant, and that's ok. It took me a year to accept that it was over and that we weren't just breaking up over something insignificant. We were breaking up and fighting b/c the love he once submersed me in was gone. After I understood that, I knew I would be better off without him and thus I moved on. I began reflecting on the relationship and I have answered all these questions.

We all know Sam found a new g.f 3 days after the last time we broke up, and I'm ok with that. In a way I'm kind of happy b/c it shows me that I didn't completely harden this boy who walks around grinding his teeth like he's going to punch someone out at any given time. It tells me that he is still capable of love and therefore not completely hopeless as I expected. However I am afraid that he didn't evaluate and therefore did not learn anything from our mistakes. The girl he picked is worse than me for him (I don't try to know what's good for him, but this girl isn't good for anyone) and his life still revolves around the fraternity instead of himself. I see no joy in his life, not even when he's with her in public but I pray that he has it when they're alone. He's still washing dishes b/c I saw his water dried hands at the grafitti party and he is now gaining back the 300 lbs he lost in a year, probably b/c of his alcohol intake being so high and so frequent.

He's not the only person to do this. I just saw that one of my 'sisters' who has just broken up with her b/f of 3 years (I think) is in a relationship with another boy, ironically by the same name. I have to wonder if the name thing was on purpose b/c I'm telling you there is no way she's not going to end up calling him her old b/fs name at one point anyway. Sam called Kaitlyn Stephanie a few times, imagine me talking him through that one with her! HA! Anyway, I just think that the whole jump into a relationship thing is SO over rated. I regret giving my fling with TIm that title b/c I wasn't ready and I told him that everyday. You are supposed to go out and enjoy the single life, breathe and live on your own two feet and not depend on another human being to be you other half for once in a very very long time. Then once you figure out who you are now, after a long learning experience and without another person tied to you, and you have evaluated the relationship as mentioned above, you can move on and into a relationship, if that's what you decided you want. I just can't express how dumb this girl is being right now. At least she waited a week, it's better than 3 days I guess. I'm just glad I did it as right as I could and now I have no second thoughts about dating Doug b/c I know what needs I need him to satisfy and he satisfies them all. I even interviewed him (kind of) before accepting his offer ;P

sry for the typos I'm exhausted! goodnight now fo reals!