Frustrated with society

I am a healthy women. I can run 2 miles now (only stopping three times to avoid an asthma attack), I can lift weights, I eat healthy, I do yoga and bikram yoga. If you were to read about my health in an article, you'd think I was extremely fit, and I feel like I am. Then I turn on the TV or I start looking at clothes online and realize that in this society I'm fat. It doesn't matter how physically fit I am, all ppl see is the excess fat on me that is not going any where. I was sick last week so I was unable to run as hard as I normally would. In the past week I went to 2 bikram yoga classes and the gym only 3 times (which is still a lot better than most ppl do when they're not sick). Yesterday I ran 2 miles almost non-stop at 5.0 (more of a jog for those who don't know tread mill speeds) and biked 6.5 miles in 15 minutes. Then I stretched out and did some ab workouts. Today I am not sore at all and that makes me so mad. Not to mention that I don't even want to look like some of these women I see on TV or in magazines. I never want to be a size zero nor do I think I could physically be that small. You, know, it's strange how ppl try to make their physical beings as small as possible but their impact on other's lives as big as possible. Anyway, I'm just frustrated again b/c no matter how much I lose, I'll never be like THAT, and our society teaches us that without looking like THAT, you should never feel secure in a relationship. IDK I'm just frustrated with this whole thing and me getting sick was the worst possible thing at that time.

Also, I'm getting frustrated with this whole dating thing. There aren't any 'dates' b/c we are both so busy. I'm free Wed night, Fri night, Sat and Sun and he's basically free during the days and tues/thurs after 9 which is too late for a dinner date. All my frds have b/f and it was so hard for me to see them b/c they were always going out with their b/f. Now that I have a b/f they all want to do double dates and that is not working out so well b/c of this schedule thing. My schedule is pretty much set in stone now, nothing can be altered. I suppose it's the same with him too, but I feel like it's more his responsibility to make time for me since my schedule is actual appointments and work whereas his is group projects and driving around his brothers. I just realized that I'm never dated anyone who has brothers. Tim had one sister, but they weren't close, Tommy and I were never serious, Sam is an only child, but Doug has this whole family thing going on, which I love but I also think he needs to just be a kid sometimes and take his g/f out on a date again. He came over last night and it was so hard to say goodbye to him b/c I knew that it could be another week until I see him again. I mean we have tentative plans tuesday night after 9 with my friends but he could cancel, or they could cancel, or something could happen and we wouldn't see each other until next saturday night after he gets off work at 8:30. I believe one of the requirements was makes time for me, and if it wasn't, then it should have been on there b/c this sucks. I know, I know, I'm using a double standard b/c I'm not making any effort to change my schedule for him but I've been there done that and it sucked even worse. I think He understands that I'm not prepared to do that again ever and it's not like I'm asking him to change his work schedule or something that is set in stone. I feel like most of his plans are tentative and therefore subject to change anyway. I'm not sure what he had today, but he said he was busy and all I have to say to that is Valentines day fall on a sunday so if he's unable to take me out that day, I'll be really upset. Valentines day isn't even that big to me, but it's our first opportunity to celebrate us being in a relationship and I want to celebrate!!! I want wine and I want candles and if he can't do that for me he better do something better. That's all I'm saying.