2 is better than 1 (or not)

Although this is a good song, 2 is not always better than 1. I was fine being 1 instead of 2, in fact I really needed to be 1 and not 2 for a while there. Now that I'm technically 2 again my life's happiness has only increases minutely. I know this sounds stand offish and maybe mean to my other 'half' if you will, but I feel like I need to think this way to protect myself from being hurt again. Maybe I have grown cold and closed off to the male gender over the last semester, can you blame me? Regardless I am taking a huge leap of faith with Doug after all that I've been through and at this point in my life I need to take that leap of faith to know if 2 is really better than 1, and so far it is. But I can't admit that, b/c admitting that would mean leaving myself vulnerable to the fangs of this world.

I asked him why he's dating me today and he replied b/c I'm cute, smart, funny, etc. etc. etc. Nothing of quality. He described hundreds of other girls I know. He said nothing about my beliefs, what I stand for, my cute little quirks that I've slowly let him discover. The reason he's dating me is so, so, idk. It's just SO. Where as I'm dating him b/c he treats me like I'm the center of his world, he plays with my hands when he holds them, he agrees with me on the big political topics, he's responsible and cares about other ppl other than himself, and he is independent like me. Him being the cutest guy is a definite plus, but him being so cute to me is b/c of these things that he stands for. To him I'm just a cute, funny girl who happens to seem smart.

In conclusion, it is wise for me to protect myself in this situation b/c an end is coming to this relationship sooner or later. I hope it's later b/c I'm really enjoying his company and affection, but unless he takes the time to see below the surface here, it's really going nowhere. So 1 will have to be better than 2 when this happens and so I must keep it in my mind for now.