November 1st

Halloween is over and I have nothing to do. Everyone I want to hang out is busy and I have a meeting for the twentith anniversary of a sorority made up of girls I can't trust. I wanted to go workout and got all the way to my new gym and realized I wouldn't have enough time to workout and shower before my meeting. So I drove to dbo where I sit now, in my car, waiting for 4:30 to roll around.

There has to be something more to this life. This cannot be all I was intended to be at this point in my life. I can not make myself as happy as I was two years ago. I hate this. You know I actually drove to the top of the 'place' where Sam was initated into the fraternity and into a completely different person before coming over here? Something needs to happen and I don't know what that is. I can say that it isn't a new boy, or hanging with girls who will stab you in the back in a second, or even being with my family. I'm not even sure if shopping is going to help me, but I'm gonna try it anyway : P

But seriously, it might mean transferring colleges or a spur of the moment trip to San Diego. I might mean taking a leave from work and school for a while (dads worst nightmare) or it might be something simple like painting my apt. Whatever it is, it has to happen fast bc I can't take these depressing days where I have nothing to do but think of the old Sam anymore.