Holidays

I was at cvs waiting for prescription to fill and looking down the festive isle they have with random holiday stuff and I began to think. I thought of the four wonderful holidays I shared with *Ryan* and how much fun we had decorating my little apt. I saw the stockings we painted, one for him, one for me, and one for lady. I saw the same snowman candy dish we bought together to hold my favorite white chocolate kisses, aka hugs. I saw the light up snowman we got his mom for Christmas last year bc she liked mine so much. As I remembered all these things I contimplated getting something new for my apt. Something I woukd enjoy this holiday season, and then I realized that there's no point in decorating for ur own enjoyment. All the little things Ryan and I did the previous four years were for both of us. He would suprise me by having the tree up and fluffed ready to put ortaments on by the time I woke up in the morning and he'd always wait patiently while I put up the train everyone except me seems to hate. But those things were so fun bc we were doing them together. And after we would snuggle under the beautifully lit up tree and listen to the wind howl outside. I think this is why the snuggie was placed in this isle.

Anyway, this holiday season will be interesting. Maybe I will decorate for my own enjoyment and maybe I'll just leave the apt plain. Whatever I choose, I know I don't want to share this holiday with another boy. Not yet anyway. I have too many memories to enjoy before I have to say goodbye to those too and make room for another persons memories.