Papa

On november 11, 2009 at 8:45 pm one the greatest people to walk this earth passed away. It was for the best but everyone he left behind will miss him terribly.

This is the hard part, getting through everyday life and the hoildays without him. Nana told the social worker at the hospital that last time, with grandpa Charles, she had two girls by her side, but this time she had no one. Now I know she knows that we woukd always be there for her but she meant at her house with her 24/7. That we can't do. It's dangerous for her to live alone in Taylor. Not only bc the bank three houses down is robbed repeatedly but also bc of her moral. It's hard for me to get motivation to get up and go do something. Sometimes I don't want to eat bc if I cook I'll have too much left overs that will go to waste, and I'm 20! I can't imagine being married and used to another person getting up next to you and brushing their teeth next to you and eating breakfast with you, then have to learn to simply do without. If i am feeling the effects of an empty nest when my companion didn't technically live with me imagine the intensity of loneliness and emptiness she will experience after thirty some years actually living with him.

It's hard bc there's no right answer. Do we arrange for a family member to live with her and jepordize taking away her indepence and spunk? Or do we leave her alone and trust that she will keep herself healthy and active? I feel like animals would def help, maybe birds. She loves feeding the finches and watching their colors change. Or was that grandpas thing that she just went along with? I can never tell. They did everything together.

Either way, RIP papa. You were the best grandpa a girl could wish for. Don't worry, we'll take care of nana <3