BEAR

They drive me crazy. Even the good ones. He had a blue bracelet, I had a purple one. When he got out of my car he left his by mine and the whole ride home I kept looking at it, thinking. the night was bad for me.... It started out fine. Then I went to see if he had saved a pic of me that I had sent him and he freaked out and deleted ALL HIS TEXT MESSAGES! *mistake #1* He was hiding something from me and he swore up and down that it was just an argument with his mom he didn't want me to see but I knew there was more. Later I learned his mom had called me a bitch bc she doesn't approve of doug and I. Doug told me he stood up for me and things got uglier bc he didn't want her calling me names. It's just eating me up that I can't know for sure what exactly was said and who he might have been texting other than his mother. I want to trust him but boys who delete texts so their gfs can't read them are not trustworthy.... I made a mistake letting him in my life and now I'm making a mistake by letting it get to me. ALSO tonight his ex was at the party, GO FIGURE. they hug and she asks if he wants to smoke with her and he says yeah for old time sake. *mistake #2* WRONG ANSWER BOO. especially since u told me what u like to do when u smoke. not making me happy. BUT WORSE. I'm outside bc I just don't know what the heck is going on with him and he comes out to talk to me and is a totally different person. He says he hates her and called her a bitch and that he'd never smoke with her. *mistake #3* totally two faced. 3 strikes, he should be out, but he's not. what am I doing? I let him into my life and he is usually perfect but tonight he was far from it and it sucks bc now I'm left staring at our bracelets that have somehow managed to stay overlapped despite the fact that their owners are so distant from one another. We are on two completely different planes. He is understanding what I want from him and he's giving me what he thinks a girl would want to have. I understand that he's trying to protect me and make me happy by not showing that his mom thinks I'm a bitch or let me know that he wants to smoke with brandi (who by the way is a complete and utter slut, so no competition there). But by doing this he doesn't see that he is acting like sam circa '09 and forgetting that I"m not like other girls. I'm not going to break down bc one person in this world called me a bitch. Im not going to freak out if he wants to smoke with brandi. I'm not going to act like any other girl he might know, I'm going to act like me. I'm more mature (even though he thinks Chloe is) than any other girl he knows. I'm above the whole calling names and trying to split up couples thing. I can handle it and he needs to let me handle it or I'm going to have to cut him loose.

As for his mother. I'm not going to bash her bc I really don't need to, but I am going to say this; any adult who calls a 20 yr old girl who has done nothing but make her son happy a bitch is extremely pathetic. It's called being an adult, it allows you to be able to handle situations better than 12 yr olds can. Although I don't care what someone of this mind set thinks of me, I have decided to try to make things work between her and I bc it would hurt Doug if we didn't get along. Unlike the 'adult' in this situation, I am going to talk to her one on one and get everything out in the open and discuss ways we can get around whatever things she has against me.

My family might not be perfect, but they would never call names or make judgements based on what they think they know about someone I'm involved with. I'm glad I came from a more respectable household than that.