SAM

so a long long time ago i sent him a fb message saying thank you for teaching me how to change my tire. It's been like a month and I figured that was that, he wasn't going to respond. Today I get his response "np" which really shouldn't affect me but I have that his name came up on my email. I hate it b/c I deleted his email from my address so that I would never see that crap again but fb has to go and fix that for me! Thx fb.

so I realize it sounds like I'm running away from this issue, but I swear I'm not. I'm completely over this boy I spent 4 years on. If he were to beg for me back like he's done in the past I would turn the other check and maybe get a restraining order. I'm just saying. It might come to that. He did fb message me.

UH F you fb! and FU sam for not making ur profile off limits to me like I did to you! GAWD! He's so happy with that girl, that girl who is just an uglier version of me! brown hair, round face, brown eyes, perfect teeth, except she has werid checks, like a frikin' chipmunck. How in the world did he get into such a loving relationship three days after ending a four year one!!!!! He NEVER cried over me but I'm still breaking down when I go the frickin' gynos b/c it reminds me of how crazy in love he used to be with me. How can he just pick up and transfer the love he had for one girl to another? I just can't do it. I guess I'm not strong enough. There will never be another Sam for me and it makes it that much worse that he found another Stephanie already. I was honestly doing fine until I clicked on his stupid profile pic and went to his page and saw an album titled "my new home" by that girl with all pictures of sam. My SAM. He was mine.

I'm forgetting that 'he' in this situation is not the 'he' who I feel in love with. That boy in those pictures in Chicago is not the boy 4 years ago who offered me a promise ring the he would never leave me. That boy kissing that uglier version of me is not the boy who thought he had gotten me pregnant by dry humping me. That boy, isn't who my boy was. I need to remember this b/c if I forget it I will not be able to handle it. I won't be able to move on with my life if there's a chance that my sam is still in there.