I was in a room I did not recognize with Ryan's twin neice and nefew on either side of me. His father was on the chair adjacent to the couch I was on and his mother was standing by the door. I can not for the life of me remember where I was but I'm 100% positive I've been there before. The twins were SO much bigger than I remember, but the tone of the dream did not imply that we were there to catch up. I was holding nickili because he was crying and Ava, although she looked as if she'd been crying, was sitting stone faced. No one made a sound. Then I heard someone coming. It was Ryan. He had a box on his belt that he tried to cover up. Every time I've seen Ryan come into a room, he would embrace his mother, they had a very close relationship, but in my dream he walked briskly past her. I could see the hurt on her face, but no one else noticed.
Ryan looked out the window closet to his dad for what seemed like forever. I hate silence. Then turned around and said something that didn't matter and opened the box on his waist line. He pulled out a gun. everyone shrieked, but I was somehow not shocked. I just put my arm around Ava and held on to Nickali tighter. Ryan proceeded to say things that don't matter and approach Ava. He shot her. Then he came to me and Nickali. He had the gun to my head, I could feel the heat from the barrel, but then he put it to Nickali's and shot instead, keeping eye contact with me. He shot his dad, then his own mother. I was alone in a strange room with 4 dead bodies of ppl I once cared deeply about staring at this stranger I once knew inside and out. He put the gun to his own head and shot. I crawled out of the room, I'm not sure why, and once I got outside, everything was normal. No one knew what had just happened. I was the only one. I tried to bring ppl back into that room to show them, I'm not crazy, Ryan just shot his family, but when I returned there was nothing inside.
I just have to remember, although it has a very real background message, it was just a dream. I just can't get the look on his face out of my head. It was anger, it wasn't sadness. It was more like loneliness and longing. Idk, my brain sucks sometimes. It decided to pull out the old Ryan when in the real world there is only this new strange Ryan. The old Ryan used to say he can be surrounded by ppl and still feel lonely if I wasn't with him, but this new one definitely prefers that I'm not with him.
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